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After thoughts

I’m still glad and proud of my presentation yesterday – it doesn’t happen very often. I forgot some things now I think about it – some symptoms that make me think that I really really really have AvPD. But I couldn’t tell everything – I did already monopolize the whole session.. the others would have been scared if I had told them that I create often in my mind an imaginary world. You have no idea how often I daydream… I try to “nightdream” now, to postpone theses moments to the late evening, because during the day it begins to be a problem.
The therapists must be happy – I did their job. I found the name of my disorder. I don’t think they knew before I tell them.
I’m glad also that they just listened to me, they didn’t try to influence me. They listened and looked at the reactions of the others.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This Mental Health Center is odd:
– my therapist is gay.You can figure it out in the first 30 seconds you see him. By the way, I have nothing against gay people, I support them. They are regular people. I’m not gay.
– the head of the center, the second therapist in our group session is gay too. You cannot miss that too. He has a particularity: he wears always 2 different kinds of socks (e.g., one grey, the other black).
– the psychoanalyst who prescribed me my medicine for this summer is handicapped. He is in a wheelchair.

I just point at these things because, I don’t know how people who feel bad in their skin can talk to them…. imagine, you’re discovery you’re gay… what do you say to the first 2 guys?! It would make me very uncomfortable.

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