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After thoughts

I’m still glad and proud of my presentation yesterday – it doesn’t happen very often. I forgot some things now I think about it – some symptoms that make me think that I really really really have AvPD. But I couldn’t tell everything – I did already monopolize the whole session.. the others would have been scared if I had told them that I create often in my mind an imaginary world. You have no idea how often I daydream… I try to “nightdream” now, to postpone theses moments to the late evening, because during the day it begins to be a problem.
The therapists must be happy – I did their job. I found the name of my disorder. I don’t think they knew before I tell them.
I’m glad also that they just listened to me, they didn’t try to influence me. They listened and looked at the reactions of the others.


This Mental Health Center is odd:
– my therapist is gay.You can figure it out in the first 30 seconds you see him. By the way, I have nothing against gay people, I support them. They are regular people. I’m not gay.
– the head of the center, the second therapist in our group session is gay too. You cannot miss that too. He has a particularity: he wears always 2 different kinds of socks (e.g., one grey, the other black).
– the psychoanalyst who prescribed me my medicine for this summer is handicapped. He is in a wheelchair.

I just point at these things because, I don’t know how people who feel bad in their skin can talk to them…. imagine, you’re discovery you’re gay… what do you say to the first 2 guys?! It would make me very uncomfortable.

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