Home > social anxiety, thoughts > The notepads are too small

The notepads are too small

If someone came today in my apartment, they would see notepads sheets of paper everywhere on my walls (it’s a good thing that I live alone); put in strategic places (right above the sinks, all around my bed..) ; on them I wrote different rational coping statements to try to get rid of these negative automatics thoughts that I have for years. (I follow what is said in the cognitive therapy session #2 of “Overcoming Social Anxiety.”)
Examples of these old and unhealthy bullshits: “Nobody loves me”; “they are making fun of me”, “people will destroy me”…there are a lot of these lies…a whole package. I don’t like them, I don’t want them, they are irrational exaggerated lies, so I’ll get rid of them. I’m fed up, they don’t impress me anymore. (Am I convincing?? ;-) )

Last time I was talking about “willingness”. I am scared (bye bye negative automatic thought) Before I was scared of trying, of giving myself a new chance. There are were 2 reasons:

  • I am was scared to fail. It wouldn’t be a good thing, but I’m sure that it wouldn’t that bad because I have supports. I’m not alone, there’s my therapist with me in my fight to get rid of all that…how can I call that? shit.
  • I am (see, how these negative thoughts put me down? no more!) was scared to succeed. More scared to succeed than to fail. What is it going to be like? How will I be? What will I be able to do?

To sum up: if I try to change, I have to face and overcome 2 fears; if I don’t want to change..I stay in my cozy cocoon. It’s now or never. It may be difficult, it may be easy but it’s now or never. And I’m sure, so sure that if I really want something, I’ll get it. I can do it. Seriously, I know I can do it. It won’t be easy every days but I can do it. I just have to want it.

Oh, I almost forgot,… the Key I found after at least 11 months of deep and intense research is replaced by the rational coping statements I have to assimilate. :-((   I can use both statements but theirs work for E VE RY THING.

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