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Success/failure

September 2, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

Lately I’ve been thinking (.yes! lol) and I realized that I have a new dilemma.

* To increase my self-esteem, everybody says (and it’s also written in books) that I have to do small challenges and succeed, so that I get progressively more and more confidence in myself. The key, here, is that in order to get some self-confidence (and also self-esteem) I need, I must succeed. To prove myself that I can do some things. –> I must succeed.

* As an avoidant, I avoid any kind situation where I can fail. Therefore, challenges are not my cup of tea because I fear to fail. I prefer by far to do nothing than take the risk of trying and failing. Everybody fails and I have to learn how to cope with failure and that failing doesn’t mean the end of the world. In other words I have to fail at challenges if I want to decrease the symptoms of my AvPD. –> I must fail.

See my problem??
Life is so simple…

Maybe I should approach the problem from a different angle: The most important thing can be to “take risks”, no matter the outcomes.
If I take a risk, it’s already something positive, a small success…yep I have to see all this under this angle.

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