Home > antidepressant, class, week > Positive things of the week and other stuffs

Positive things of the week and other stuffs

September 5, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

1) I received a package from my parents
2) I registered for “A Journey into Consciousness”
3) Kura contacted me
4) I went to the restaurant with Angela –

there are more negative than positive things this week
1) I had a fear of heights – kind of panic attack
2) I feel very sad, hopeless, helpless and so on; very probably because of the change in the dose of my medicines.
3) After 3 days I gave up trying to find a good quality in me.
4) Even Bridget Jones is way better than me – and I don’t like Bridget Jones.
5) for the second week, my IRB is somewhere…very probably unsigned…and the worst is that I don’t care.

On Tuesday I’ll see the woman who prescribes me my medicines. I want to go back to my 450mg – I don’t care if I shake like crazy, or can’t use staircases, or take the escalator

On Wednesday evening, there’s again the French meeting – it will be my second and very last participation in this group since the following Wednesdays I’ll have my class “A Journey into Consciousness”.
On Wednesday evening, there’s the “back-to-school party” with all the professors and the others… I didn’t go to any of these parties last year. I am angry at them, I don’t want to see them. At all. I think I despise them. If I go there I’ll play the most hypocrite girl you’ve ever seen. In the same time, I think I can’t miss this party..I didn’t go to so many of these parties, one more or one less, what difference does it make? They already think I’m weird, unsocial, cold and very probably that I don’t like them – and they are right. They can all go to hell.

The funniest in all this is that all these thoughts have never left me; it’s just that usually I manage to focus on the positive things but not this time. It’s because of the medications. I feel like I just started to take these meds except that I don’t have suicidal thoughts, but beside that, I feel so low.

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