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Heartless men

Something came up to my mind while I was making crepes:
In a previous post, I wrote that I made men appear heartless to me only because it gives me a good reason to avoid them.

I was wrong.

I know now why, to me men can’t have good feelings. It’s a defense mechanism, yes, but it doesn’t work this way. In order to explain and justify why nobody has ever been interested in me, I decided that it was due to the fact that men can’t have real feeling. Men can’t have good feelings, so they will never be interested in me. Okay. Thinking this way, I save myself and protect my self-esteem.

How?
Simply because it is easier to say that nobody has ever looked at me because, technically, they can’t be interested in anybody than to admit that if nobody ever looked at me it’s because I am not worth it;  I’m just stupid, ugly, dumb, disgusting, hideous, and so on and so on…. in a word: just good for trash.
So there are 2 answers to my problem, the first one ( “men are heartless”) was made up by me and the second one (“i’m good just for trash”), not made up by me. I chose the first answer – I think that my self-esteem is low enough, it doesn’t need to be pull down even more.

And as we know, men are not heartless.

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