Session #5

October 15, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

Another great session.
We talked about a lot of interesting things but I don’t remember what exactly. -_-  Ah yes, what does it mean “to change” and how do we know what changes and how. Personally, despite all I do (today, I went to the French group meeting although I really didn’t want to go; I wasn’t motivated at all) I can’t say that I notice changes. The only change is that I try, that I do things even when I don’t feel like doing them.

X said that it would be a good idea to ask to the other members of the group what they think about us. I want to know but in the same time I don’t want to know – I won’t be able to cope with the comments. I’ll despise them no matter what they’d say. And there’s a great chance that I won’t be able to use wisely their comments/feedbacks. I need to know because if I base everything only on how I see myself, well, it’s too subjective. I don’t want to know. Maybe next time I’ll say that; it won’t help at all but I think I have to say it.

It’s funny because in the group there’s a guy who has social phobia and he’s exactly like me but his case is not as bad as mine. I understand exactly everything he means and feels. For instance he says that he knows what to do to get better and I know he does. I do too. It’s simply that we don’t want to do these things because we are scared of their consequences. We know what to do. We just block ourselves.
There are 2 differences between us: my case is way more serious (he was able to talk during his first session, bear the presence of roommates…) and I began to take actions. He hasn’t done it yet. But! but!! as I was presenting my case to him, he decided that this week-end he’ll do something.  :-) His case is not hopeless; he’ll make it. :-)

Another topic: I cry almost every single day. The dosage of my medicines is not good. Taking 300mg/450mg every other day does not seem to be efficient.

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