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Trust

On Messenger, Kura, my former Sacrifice on Loveless, sent me her best wishes for the New Year. According to her I’m lucky because I can do everything I want to do – she refers to the fact that I go out sometimes. What I told her is that I don’t want to go out but I do it anyway otherwise if I listen to myself I’d spend my whole life locked in my apart – I never feel like doing something and certainly not going out to join people. So I explained her that I suffer from clinical depression and a personality disorder.
It surprised her – she said that I always appeared to be fine and that she has always admired me.*blink* See, don’t be fooled by the appearance. There’s no reason at all to admire me. None. I talked to her about all this in order for her to understand that she shouldn’t envy me and that her life isn’t that bad after all.
I also told her that I don’t trust people – but, as she pointed out, I had to trust her at one point to tell her my secret. I almost forgot that – how difficult and painful it was. I remember how much I wept after I told her my secret. Well, yeah, we can say that I trust her but it’s not easy at all. So far she hasn’t disappointed me. I put my trust in her. I did.

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