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Group session

February 22, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments

During my group therapy session, I was asked to think about what makes me helpless with my thesis.
Answers:

  • I can’t take criticism: any type of correction, comment or critic will pull me down and devastate me due to my extremely low self esteem.
  • It is useless: a Ph.D. would be useful only and only if I stay and work in the USA. I even can’t apply for jobs – I feel so incompetent.
  • I have not a single plan for the future. I don’t know what I want to do. No idea. But in the end it comes up to: what *can* I do?
  • It is a symptom of my AvPD. People with this disorder are known to stay as long as possible at school. I wonder why? LOL (see above)

Fucking low self-esteem and depression.
I understand that my depression is for me The opportunity to change, to get better but damn, I have to start everything from scratch almost!! I can’t do all that overnight. If only I could work on my thesis & get more self-esteem but it seems that it has to be self-esteem first and then the thesis. Not good. Better than nothing, though!

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