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My archer

November 22, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments

I am not any longer playing on Dofus. I stopped cold turkey one day. I never intended to. It just happened. There was no warning sign of any sort therefore I didn’t say “goodbye” to the people I teamed up with almost every day to assault dungeons. They must think I’m dead lol. It’s been more than a month now and I don’t plan to go back to Dofus although it’s a great game. I have more time to spend to do other stuffs now. I think about it because in the audio-book “The Girl Who Played With Fire” by Stieg Larsson (which I finished) the main character left all her friends without notice. She just left and didn’t bother answering their calls. After several months she came back to one of her friends and he told her that she treats the few friends she has like shit. That’s what I do too even though I know very very few people. My therapists say that I don’t give them a chance to know me. That’s their point of view. In my perspective, I don’t give people a chance to hurt me. I’m good at superficial interactions, but as soon as you want to know me, I’m on the defensive/counter-attack mode. That’s how I end up with just people with whom I’m in contact. I don’t have any friend (and I mean “any”) in France – so, besides my mother, father and grandmother, there’s nobody I know in France. And here, in the U.S., there’s this French girl whose baby is now 1 year old – so, she has other things to do than hang out with me – and Marine.

So, I am still not satisfied with the way I handle my relationships with people. I don’t want to impose myself and if someone wants to talk to me, well, they know how to contact me. I won’t do the first step – I don’t want to bother people. Besides, I don’t have many opportunities to work on this issue, either. The only friend I can invite is Marine and she’s always sick or has a hang over that forces her to cancel her plans. She was supposed to come with me to see the screening of the latest Harry Potter movie. To tell the truth, I didn’t care at all if she could come or not.

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