Home > postaweek, thoughts > To be held accountable

To be held accountable

Living alone is cool. Living far from my family is fine with me too. I know I can contact them by phone whenever I want to (to hell the 6-hour jet lag). It’s nice to have people to talk to, actually. As for my “friends”, well there’s Isa and her husband and Marine. That makes three. I see them once a month, at best, and the rest of the time, I’m not in contact with them – no Facebook, no Twitter, no text messages, no emails either. I’m not complaining. I’m used to it. I’ve been living like this for years. Everything is fine except for one thing. I am completely responsible of what I do and of what I don’t do. What I miss is somebody who would check if I do what I’m supposed to do, or at least, remind me of these things. I need to be held accountable. I need to report to someone what I do for my studies, I need this person to make sure I do things. I know I’m not a teen anymore but it’s rather difficult when you are alone to get motivated and ‘stay’ motivated. I think also that for a time my clinical depression put everything on hold: I didn’t work for my thesis at all for several months, I simply couldn’t. Then, I kind of used it as an excuse for not working and now I’m at a stage where I don’t have any excuse for not studying but I have some difficulty to get back to my studies, and be motivated. I lost something on the way.

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