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My New Year’s Eve

While some people look forward to their New Year’s party (and resolutions), I dread this traditional time to look back on the past year’s accomplishments – or in my case lack of accomplishment. If you’re a little depressed already, like me (because in part of the winter blues), this moment of taking stock of yourself will probably make things worse.

I know that to look back at the year and what you have done is natural to some degree but with me, the only things that come to my mind as the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve are saddening observations such as « last year I still didn’t get a full time job », « I didn’t lose weight, but gained weight », « I’m hopeless ». It is the period of the year when I am very self-critical. Knowing myself, I probably rate my accomplishments lower than others would. And it’s even worse in presence of my parents who look at me with eyes that say « sorry, I’m sorry for you, maybe next year will be better ». Usually, I try to hide my tears when my parents wish me a happy new year. This night is by far the most depressing night of the year for me.

Maybe you think that the fact that I almost always spend a very quiet New Year’s Eve with my mother and my father (we try to stay awake till midnight playing cards or watching tv) makes me sad but I don’t think so, since I prefer to spend NYE this way, with my parents, than among dozens of people, all dressed up. I am not at all a party girl.

Well, all this to tell you that I am glad that this time of the year is over !

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