Archive for the ‘jesuisquoi’ Category

About ANTS (Automatic Negative Thoughts)

January 24, 2012 Leave a comment

I have a friend who lives abroad and we contact each other only via our blogs, or almost. So, here’s for her a little post to help her face her Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTS). Actually, this post is a compilation of some previous posts I wrote about those evil ANTS.

ANTS exist only to break you down, to ruin your life. It is their only purpose. The more you pay attention to them, the happier they are. The more they grow and reproduce themselves, the more you’ll believe them until one day you’ll take what they say as true. You have listen to them for so long without questioning their veracity that they became part of you. Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t – you’re right. It means that the brain listens to us and believes everything we say, whether it is true or false. The brain doesn’t see any difference between reality and what we think or say to ourselves. Stupid brain. You just have to rewire your brain by thinking more positive things. Therefore, if you think that the ANTS you have are telling the truth it only means that you have listen to them so long that you believe them. It does not mean at all that they are true!

Don’t try to fight ANTS. If you fight them, you’ll acknowledge them and pay attention to them (they will be so happy then!), what you have to do instead is to silence them. Here are some tips to do it. I also have an cognitive and behavioral therapy program on PDF and mp3s that helped me a lot to get rid of ANTS; just ask me and I’ll put it online again.
..if only we had APTS (Automatic Positive Thoughts)!



November 24, 2010 Leave a comment

Hey Jesuisquoi,

It’s time to sum up a little at where you are right now.

Here are some questions that may help you. Damn, I’m no doctor or therapist, I’m just somebody who went through what you went through or kinda. I’m trying to help as much as I can. First, do you want help? lol That’s a good question!

Do you take your medication as prescribed?

Do you go to therapy?

Do you learn something from therapy?

Do you do something to stop ANTS and what?…

What else do you do?

You don’t have to answer Me. Those are just questions you should ask yourself.

By the way, I like your new template – there’s no more mention of cutting, purge… that’s great.



November 4, 2010 8 comments

… oh mirror… Read more…

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The advantages of this LJ

September 29, 2009 Leave a comment

This LJ may be a good thing. It forces to lay down my thoughts and to put my thoughts and feelings into words. I finally begin to express what is inside me.
In a way I open up without really opening up.
This LJ is private: my life is nobody’s business plus I’m ashamed of what I write. lol  so, contrary to some people who write about their depression on a regular blog, I prefer to keep things for myself – as usual. For myself and for Jesuisquoi, a person who doesn’t know me.
I have no idea if Jesuisquoi reads my entries or not – actually, I think that she does not read them because
1) it doesn’t concern her since I write exclusively about me – and no, I’m not narcissistic.
2) she is not suffering from AvPD
3) my English is bad and it must be difficult for a native English speaker to understand me sometimes. lol
4) reading these entries is pretty boring. lol I admit. But writing them is much more interesting.
5) we don’t know each other.

All this (putting my thought into words and letting someone have access to my entries) may allow me to open up more easily during my therapy group sessions. I go there already prepared; I’ve already thought about what I’ll talk about and it also allows me to anticipate some of their comments.

* The medicines bring me to a good and stable mental level, a mental state much favorable to look again at my life. They do not change my life, it is the same, the problems are still here but the medicines enable me to see that everything is not lost. I can’t change my past but it’s up to me to make my present and future what I want them to be like.
* The therapy. On one hand I deeply think it’s totally useless, on the other hand when I didn’t have group therapy for 2 weeks I felt abandoned and alone, completely alone. I don’t expect anything from this therapy.
* Me. If I don’t act, if I don’t take charge, Nothing will ever change even though I take medicines and follow a therapy. These 2 things are very important to my recovery but they are not what will enable me to change. I am the only one who can do it. I have to act. I can’t stay passive anymore, this time is over. I want to be an actor in my life (what a beautiful sentence! lol)

Oh and today I start a new phase with my medicines: I’ll take every other day a dose of 300mg and 450mg. :-)
With 300mg: I cry almost every other day (I cried again yesterday :-((  ) and I don’t feel motivated to “bouger mon cul” as we nicely say in French.
With 450mg: my hands and legs shake, I develop a fear of heights, I lose a lot of weight but I’m always in a good mood – I never cry.
We’ll see what’s going to happen, I hope that I won’t end up with: hands and legs shaking, a fear of heights, a loss of weight + feeling low and crying. lol  That would be really bad luck!

Do you want to know?

August 17, 2009 10 comments

To Jesuisquoi:

I copied under the LJ-cut passages of Personality Disorders in Modern Life about borderlines.
You can read them or not. You decide.

Your story

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The lucky one

August 6, 2009 2 comments

To Jesuisquoi:

* You say something like "I don’t like myself" and "I don’t like what I look like";
but guys go out with you; you have date after date; and they even tell you the truth: that you have a negative perception of reality.

* I say something like "I don’t like myself" and "I don’t like what I look like";
and nobody wants to go out with me and I don’t have a single date. It reinforces the perception I have of myself: "I don’t like myself" and "I don’t like what I look like".

Do you see what I mean?


Get some back up

July 7, 2009 Leave a comment

To Jesuisquoi:
How old is she, this doctor? It seems to me that she doesn’t know what she is doing and that she isn’t very smart. If your doctor increased your medicines, you will get better, way much better than you are now. You’ll be like me. She’d be kind of right to say “no” if you wanted to enter the uni as you were without meds or with the first dose of meds you took before. The more you increase the dose, the better you feel, she must know that. You did the right thing by contacting your doctor you need him to back you up; you also did the right thing by telling everything to this so-called “doctor at the uni”. You did your part, she did not do hers.
Did you tell her what you wrote in your entry? that it would be a Huge help for you to go to uni? Oh, and what did she suggest you to do during the next year if you don’t go to the uni? What was her plan for you? She must have one, doesn’t she?
Do not give up, do not let this woman put you down. Defend yourself, show her that you can make it. Can’t you also ask your parents (mother) to write a letter to support you.